Date 3

I met J through on online dating site two weeks ago. He was nice, but a little bit too nice and sometimes a little bit boring. On date number 2 we went out and met some of my friends, T included, who said I was being daft for thinking he is "too nice" and that, in his words, he is "a good lad".

He went away for a week at Christmas and I started to think that maybe it could work out. I have been a bit bored of being single and had stopped having random shags - I hadn't had sex since the beginning of August. And maybe being with someone too nice is better than my previous partners. Maybe I deserved too nice.

So we went out again last night, danced close, kissed and then went back to my place, shagged and went to sleep. That was the beginning of the end. He snores and I had a bad night sleep. When I woke up next to him I wished he wasn't there. There is something about waking up next to someone that I don't like very much. He wanted to have a cuddly morning/afternoon in bed, I just wished I had woken up alone and could do my thing, rather than faff around in bed with someone else that I realised I wasn't that into. I didn't want to look into his eyes or stroke his hair, so I put the pillow over my head and pretended to hide, which he thought was cute.

We went to breakfast then said goodbye. I couldn't help thinking the whole time that I had gone off him. Already.

I'm left wondering what it means that I keep being uninterested in these guys who are cute, smart and funny. Why am I left feeling a load of nothing?

Remiss

I have been a bit remiss in not keeping this up to date of late. It is not, however, due to lack of personal/sexual drama.

I have though changed my perspective - I have not slept with anyone since in four months, since the beginning of August. There have been attempts by various men, but I have spurned them all in the hopes that I am not giving myself up too easily for will most likely be unsatisfying (sexually and emotionally) sex. Mo has been around and made a rather sweet attempt at trying to get together with me, but I was insistent on the "just want to be friends" line. Another chap, J has made a few drunken advances, and despite giving in for a few snogs, I also turned his advances down.

There has been some success in that I drunkenly told off E, but in a nice kind of way, and I think it has paved the way for my issues with him to be resolved and for us to proceed as good friends.

Indeed, tonight E & G are having a Christmas party. I drunkly admitted to KT last night (but didn't remember it until she reminded me this afternoon), that I had gotten it into my head that I fancied his new female flatmate, even though I have not even met her. My mind runs away from me sometimes!

Whilst plucking my eyebrows this evening, KT asked whether I would get some satisfaction about snogging one of his friends. Because, she added, if it were her, she would. Tee hee! Of course I would, but I'm not setting out on a path of destruction and I don't know whether he has any single and sexy friends.

I shall endeavor to update you on any drama this evening.

xx