I went into the weekend slightly panicked about what I would do with myself with five days off from work, but in T's words - "cracking weekend, wasn't it?!"
It sure was.
Friday: Funfair with Ex-husband, dodgems, and other sketchy rides - I went on the really tall scary one but he was too afraid, thai food, watching Nathan Barley, dinner party, my local, meeting fun new people, kissing in a hammock, running out of tobacco at 5am, only to find a half a joint hidden away, gutted to have not gotten Andy's number, despite the fact that he is ostensibly seeing someone - oh well.
Saturday: waking up hyper and probably still drunk at 11am, the zoo with T and A, tapir was my favourite animal, lions and tigers and bears oh my, more thai food, a nap while they watch Dr Who, then dragging myself back to my local, a distinct lacking of cute young guys or girls - everyone was worn from previous nights of excess, after party at E & D's, *meeting* Nathan Barley, cocktails, stumbling home at 5am, slumber party in my bed with A and T, drunken sleep.
Sunday: again waking up drunk and hyper, Tim "I actually snogged more people than you last night, what a surprise!" Me "Who did you snog?" Tim "Well, you" Me "haha, oh yea" Tim "And Amy" Me "bwahahaha!", giggling incessantly at breakfast, being asked by the waitress "Would you like bread or toast" and responding "What's the difference?" "Weeeell, bread is bread, and toast is toast" Did I mention I was still drunk?, hour and a half journey to new cross, being asked for my number by a drunk guy on the East London line, Ex-husband's band, curry for dinner, early night.
Monday: having a lie in, taking naps, more Nathan Barley, watching Chinatown, curry and beer, back to the local for an end of bank holiday drink, not being able to stop myself scoping out the talent, despite Monday being probably the worst night of the week to pull, being too shy to talk to anyone not at our table, another early night.
Tuesday: Not back to work until tomorrow, had another lie in, laying in bed with window open and fresh warm air coming in, children playing next door.
Only another three weeks until the next bank holiday. yeeeaaah!
xx
Tuesday, 10 April 2007
Saturday, 7 April 2007
Friday - always eventful
The night began with a lovely dinner party by a couple friend of mine in the area. Fantastic food, good company, etc. Near midnight we headed off to my local to meet T, and P & R (the couple I inappropriately propositioned two weeks earlier).
I wondered whether I would run into the 40 year old music promoter, who I didn't call after he put a note through my door. Low and behold, I was there for about five minutes before he found me. He came over and said hi, stood around awkwardly, then said he would be sitting over at another table. The band was shit, but we had a good dance to "I don't want to grow up" before moving into the main pub room without the bad band.
As a side note, R, the wife I propositioned, was exceedingly drunk and rubbing my leg before husband decided to take her home. Strange.
We moved tables and music promoter followed with his cousin and his girlfriend to the table behind us. I managed to ignore him until his cousin's girlfriend tapped me on the shoulder to talk to me. "You know he put a note through your door? He did actually lose his phone you know. He was really upset that you didn't call him. We're having a dinner party tomorrow, do you want to come? He's really lovely, but really shy and really likes you." Egad!
And when I tried to talk to him, there was again nothing to say. C and I jetted off to dance to Guns and Roses and he followed. When the song finished he said he was going, so I pulled him to a side couch to give him a talk. C suggested that my best let-down is the ex-husband. She suggested that I say I got back together with him. I didn't go that far, but said to him that I am in the process of getting divorced (true) and its difficult (true) and because of that, I'm not able and ready to date anyone (untrue). He was really nice, etc etc, but I just can't see him. We had a hug and a goodbye snog and he said "you have my number" - I didn't give him mine, and off he went. I was so pleased with myself for the good let down line. No one hurt or upset, I don't feel like a heartless bitch. Hooray!
I go back to my table of friends and C said I had done well, but the guys gave me grief for snogging him (they could see) and that by saying what I did, I was still leading him on. Can't please everyone all the time.
The night carried on with me scoping out the rest of the talent in the pub by that time. I love my local because there is always someone that I am attracted to - maybe its the drunkenness. A guy at a nearby table smiled at me and so I started talking to him. He was Japanese and his friend was Italian. I gave him some lines of Japanese I remembered from when I studying, and he was impressed, so I invited them back to my place for a drink (it was closing time at the pub). I grabbed T to tell him, and he was talking to some people who were going back to a neighbour's place. Side note- there was a hot girl with pink hair at a nearby table that I told him to talk to, T of course didn't talk to her, but went and talked to the guy sitting next to her who had a hulk hand. He said that they were going back to her place, where I had actually been before for a party and lives a stone's throw from my flat. SO, we all gathered together and went to the shop to get beer and trek up the street.
Somewhere along the line we looked back and didn't have my Japanese friend, or indeed many other people. There was me, T, cute pink hair, and three other guys. We had beer, a record player and records and were very happy. I ventured into the back garden with one of the chaps - the one with the hulk hand, called Andy - and we lounged in the hammock together. We had a snog and a grope, but he said that he came out of a long term relationship last Saturday and was now sort of seeing someone else. Uh, ok, whatever mate.
We eventually went inside and all danced to Michael Jackson, then as 5am rolled around, it was time for bed. I invited Andy back to mine, but he said it would not be a good idea and we just had a goodbye snog at the door. I rolled across the street with my beer, stumbled inside and into bed alone. Shame that I didn't swap numbers with Andy - he is 26, cute and interesting. As he is moving into the flat across the street in the next couple weeks, I'm sure I'll see him about.
What a curious night. Even more curious that I woke up six hours later, still drunk. Ahh, bank holiday weekend.
I wondered whether I would run into the 40 year old music promoter, who I didn't call after he put a note through my door. Low and behold, I was there for about five minutes before he found me. He came over and said hi, stood around awkwardly, then said he would be sitting over at another table. The band was shit, but we had a good dance to "I don't want to grow up" before moving into the main pub room without the bad band.
As a side note, R, the wife I propositioned, was exceedingly drunk and rubbing my leg before husband decided to take her home. Strange.
We moved tables and music promoter followed with his cousin and his girlfriend to the table behind us. I managed to ignore him until his cousin's girlfriend tapped me on the shoulder to talk to me. "You know he put a note through your door? He did actually lose his phone you know. He was really upset that you didn't call him. We're having a dinner party tomorrow, do you want to come? He's really lovely, but really shy and really likes you." Egad!
And when I tried to talk to him, there was again nothing to say. C and I jetted off to dance to Guns and Roses and he followed. When the song finished he said he was going, so I pulled him to a side couch to give him a talk. C suggested that my best let-down is the ex-husband. She suggested that I say I got back together with him. I didn't go that far, but said to him that I am in the process of getting divorced (true) and its difficult (true) and because of that, I'm not able and ready to date anyone (untrue). He was really nice, etc etc, but I just can't see him. We had a hug and a goodbye snog and he said "you have my number" - I didn't give him mine, and off he went. I was so pleased with myself for the good let down line. No one hurt or upset, I don't feel like a heartless bitch. Hooray!
I go back to my table of friends and C said I had done well, but the guys gave me grief for snogging him (they could see) and that by saying what I did, I was still leading him on. Can't please everyone all the time.
The night carried on with me scoping out the rest of the talent in the pub by that time. I love my local because there is always someone that I am attracted to - maybe its the drunkenness. A guy at a nearby table smiled at me and so I started talking to him. He was Japanese and his friend was Italian. I gave him some lines of Japanese I remembered from when I studying, and he was impressed, so I invited them back to my place for a drink (it was closing time at the pub). I grabbed T to tell him, and he was talking to some people who were going back to a neighbour's place. Side note- there was a hot girl with pink hair at a nearby table that I told him to talk to, T of course didn't talk to her, but went and talked to the guy sitting next to her who had a hulk hand. He said that they were going back to her place, where I had actually been before for a party and lives a stone's throw from my flat. SO, we all gathered together and went to the shop to get beer and trek up the street.
Somewhere along the line we looked back and didn't have my Japanese friend, or indeed many other people. There was me, T, cute pink hair, and three other guys. We had beer, a record player and records and were very happy. I ventured into the back garden with one of the chaps - the one with the hulk hand, called Andy - and we lounged in the hammock together. We had a snog and a grope, but he said that he came out of a long term relationship last Saturday and was now sort of seeing someone else. Uh, ok, whatever mate.
We eventually went inside and all danced to Michael Jackson, then as 5am rolled around, it was time for bed. I invited Andy back to mine, but he said it would not be a good idea and we just had a goodbye snog at the door. I rolled across the street with my beer, stumbled inside and into bed alone. Shame that I didn't swap numbers with Andy - he is 26, cute and interesting. As he is moving into the flat across the street in the next couple weeks, I'm sure I'll see him about.
What a curious night. Even more curious that I woke up six hours later, still drunk. Ahh, bank holiday weekend.
Tuesday, 3 April 2007
Fucked with being fucked
On my way out the door to work this morning I found an envelope with my name on it put through the letterbox. Inside was a note from the 40-year-old music promoter from Friday night. In it he said that his phone died and he therefore lost my number and said that if I still wanted to hang out I should call him on ....
I was curious, though relieved, that he hadn't called, after he asked me at least a dozen times on Friday night if it was alright to call me the following day.
I felt deeply unsatisfied after this weekend - wondering why it is that I am so bored with men, bored with the game, don't see the point, yet nonetheless still manage to end up snogging and/or shagging some random guy that I don't particularly fancy.
Should I go back to being a recluse? Spend less time at the pub? Drink less and therefore have less of a chance of making a silly twat of myself and/or leading anyone on?
This is a dilemma, bearing in mind I am coming up to a bank holiday weekend and I have five glorious days off from work and very little idea of what to do with myself.
Maybe some nights out to lesbian bars/clubs would cheer me up this weekend...
I was curious, though relieved, that he hadn't called, after he asked me at least a dozen times on Friday night if it was alright to call me the following day.
I felt deeply unsatisfied after this weekend - wondering why it is that I am so bored with men, bored with the game, don't see the point, yet nonetheless still manage to end up snogging and/or shagging some random guy that I don't particularly fancy.
Should I go back to being a recluse? Spend less time at the pub? Drink less and therefore have less of a chance of making a silly twat of myself and/or leading anyone on?
This is a dilemma, bearing in mind I am coming up to a bank holiday weekend and I have five glorious days off from work and very little idea of what to do with myself.
Maybe some nights out to lesbian bars/clubs would cheer me up this weekend...
Sunday, 1 April 2007
Saturday again - is this getting tedious?
Pirate Boy came around last night, ostensibly to cook me dinner, but having arrived two hours later than I expected and with nothing to cook with, we went out. Then off to my local to meet my friend and current lodger, T. T was there with the married couple that I had propositioned the female half of at a party last weekend. They just giggled when they saw me. Not only had I asked her if she would have sex with me, but before that, I had asked him "P, can I have sex with your wife?" To which he rightly answered "You'll have to ask her." I always manage to do stupid and embarrassing things when drunk. T said that that exchange would go down in infamy. Great.
After a wee bit of dancing, we came home. I was tired and still felt worse for wear from the previous night of excess. We listened to the new Arcade Fire record and then went to bed. Now it is morning, Pirate Boy is in the shower and we are meant to go to an exhibition. I can't help but feeling bored by him. The sex is pretty good, not amazing, but then again I have never known amazing sex. I do however get slightly confused when he says things, such as during foreplay this morning he said "what do you feel like?" "Um, what do you mean?" "Just tell me" "Er, I don't know." I guess I wasn't sure what he was getting at.
I don't feel gitty or excited by him as a person. He's a bad dresser, bad dancer, and what about that ridiculous grin? I am left feeling not thrilled about spending the afternoon with him - yea, come around, have sex, but then I tend to be happy when he goes and I get some time to myself.
When I describe my dealings with him to a coworker she says that I sound like a man - indifferent. Whereas she is completely neurotic about men. I wasn't always so indifferent - I think it has come with the breakdown of my marriage and then my person recovery from this.
I know it is a bit over dramatic, but I do wonder whether I will get excited by someone in that can't-stop-thinking-about-them sort of way. I can only remind myself that I am but a wee 25 and I have years to go.
After a wee bit of dancing, we came home. I was tired and still felt worse for wear from the previous night of excess. We listened to the new Arcade Fire record and then went to bed. Now it is morning, Pirate Boy is in the shower and we are meant to go to an exhibition. I can't help but feeling bored by him. The sex is pretty good, not amazing, but then again I have never known amazing sex. I do however get slightly confused when he says things, such as during foreplay this morning he said "what do you feel like?" "Um, what do you mean?" "Just tell me" "Er, I don't know." I guess I wasn't sure what he was getting at.
I don't feel gitty or excited by him as a person. He's a bad dresser, bad dancer, and what about that ridiculous grin? I am left feeling not thrilled about spending the afternoon with him - yea, come around, have sex, but then I tend to be happy when he goes and I get some time to myself.
When I describe my dealings with him to a coworker she says that I sound like a man - indifferent. Whereas she is completely neurotic about men. I wasn't always so indifferent - I think it has come with the breakdown of my marriage and then my person recovery from this.
I know it is a bit over dramatic, but I do wonder whether I will get excited by someone in that can't-stop-thinking-about-them sort of way. I can only remind myself that I am but a wee 25 and I have years to go.
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